Blogrimage Day 2

My heart is alive! Beauty seems to sweep my heart in an upward flow that envelopes my senses! I feel as though beauty is all around me and all I must do is stop and listen to her whispers. I've already found myself doing the thing I knew I would with this blog - getting lost in the revery of my thoughts and the tingling of my senses that I would forget to actually type what my brain is thinking! Perhaps there is beauty to be found even in that? I don't know . . .

Today I had a true moment of understanding; of clarity. I was teaching the lowest level of English comprehension I have taught since coming to Korea (I am currently teaching English here for a year). My students were trying to convey something to me and no matter how much either of us tried, we were all failing. I was so frustrated and so irritated with the situation in that moment; not at my students but rather with myself. How horrible of me to stand there assuming these kids should understand me and be able to speak my language when I have not truly engaged in their own. (This is a drawback of where I teach - it's too easy to just exist as if in a mini America, considering we have 40+ native English speakers all living/working on the same campus). I was feeling convicted by these kids and so disappointed in myself that I couldn't see what was truly happening in front of me. My students, though they too were frustrated by the situation and the lack of communication that was able to take place, we were communicating. I spent the entire hour and a half class playing games with these kids explaining gestures and expressions my meaning in different words and phrases, and through it all we laughed. I laughed. My students laughed. One of my students laughed so hard at his silliness he fell off his chair onto the floor. In that moment I suddenly realized it - there was something we were all speaking that transcended race, ethnicity, gender, language, what have you. Laughter. I suddenly saw something different - some deep and powerful, so easily written off as menial, but something I was suddenly very attune to - the beauty of laughter. There I was, with little to no way to communicate with these precious Korean children, the next generation of this earth, and I suddenly realized how immense the laughter I shared with them was. We didn't know what the other was saying, but the result of our interaction and the sharing of the joy, bonded us in a moment in time. By the end of class, the girls were hanging on me, not wanting to leave. My heart swells simply thinking about it.

How immense is laughter? How deep does it truly go? What is it about laughter that makes our hearts swell up so and fills us with such joy? In the same regard, what is it about laughter that can cause such disdain in others? That makes some uncomfortable and burrow deep in anger and frustration? I believe all these responses come out of the realization that laughter in its purest and truest essence in simply beautiful  - pure, unadulterated beauty. As I laughed with my students, I realized that it was pure, true and perfect, just as beauty is. In every culture there is laughter. Laughter is part of who we are in our human existence. It's beautiful. Why else does the heart of a father leap with joy when his newborn child laughs for the first time? Why else is laughter contagious and uncontainable? Why else can we not contain ourselves and keep the corner of our mouths from tipping when a stranger throws a smile at us? All for beauty . . .

I could never deny laughter in my life. Never. And I could never deny my eyes from seeing beauty. To deny my soul from joy and laughter would be to never look upon beauty with my eyes: it would be a life devoid of one of the greatest treasures of heaven. What would life be without beauty? Without joy? Someone once said:

"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face."

Let winter never remain on my face: may joy alone continually fill my countenance.